Friday, February 6, 2015

All Aboard the Whore Train

Topic: Long lost roommate.

I thought about writing a story, but instead I'm going to tell you about my first roommate in college. Let me tell you, this girl had issues. I opted to live in the apartments on campus instead of the dorms. There were less rules and more freedom, and I loved living there. It's where I met the bestbian and over all it was a great experience. But then there was my roommate. Jessica. She was the RA and was supposed to do random room checks for alcohol, make sure that nobody was smoking in the buildings, make sure there were no overnight visitors, and that the noise levels were kept under control at night. She was awful at her job. Jessica was an overweight girl who definitely had fat girl syndrome. That's when you let your weight affect your self esteem to the point of completely changing who you are in order to gain men's approval. This woman. Oh this woman. She was annoying. When someone is sitting in the living room, on their computer watching a show, with their headphones in, curled up in a ball, what does their body language say? To me, it's leave me alone and let me hide from the world. To her it meant let me keep talking to you about all the one night stands I'm having until you're forced to take the headphones out all together. She would wait until I put the headphones back in to start talking again. It was ridiculously awful. And the one night stands. Dear god it's like our apartment had a revolving door. There was a constant strand of guys she just met being taken back into the room, a bunch of disgusting loud noises, and then he'd stride out like big man on campus while she sat and pitied herself about why nobody called again. Possibly because you acted a whore? Maybe? Yeah? It was beyond ridiculous and disgusting. She had a rule with her hook ups, she wouldn't kiss them. It helped keep it casual to her I guess. When the upstairs neighbor Sadie moved in it got so much worse. They were actually in competition to see who could sleep with more men. I lost count after fifteen. I felt like everything needed to be sterilized with penicillin before I could touch it. I ended up basically moving in to the bestbians apartment upstairs to escape the whore train. Thankfully, she was fired and forced to move off campus when one of the people in charge of the apartments caught her drunk as hell. It was a beautiful moment for me. This is one long lost roommate that I am more than happy to let stay long lost.

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